“You know, Iâm not a celebrity memoir fan. Iâm just not all that interested in who boinked who where and when or what have you. I think this one is probably more suited to people who care more about celebrities that I do.
Elvira stuff doesnât show up until about halfway through, maybe even later, and that portion wasnât as central as I thought it would be. It was the part I was most interested in, so there was some letdown there. Itâs not a bad book by any stretch, but itâs probably only for megafans or people who love 60âs/70âs celebrity gossip.
Iâve long considered my horror host character options, as I assume everyone does. Here are a few I came up with:
The Reelman
This is a guy who owns a movie theater in 2020/2021 and is desperately trying to save it. So he tries to interest people in all these shitty movies so he can keep the business alive. But he can only get shitty movies because he has zero budget. I donât act very well, but I could probably pull off depression and desperation mixed together.
The Film Student
This is a jerkoff film student whoâs been trapped in a basement and forced to watch lousy horror. Heâs only seen stuff like Citizen Kane, so this is all very shocking. I do own glasses, and I could probably watch Citizen Kane and make this work.
Clearance Clarence
This guy gets all his movies from the clearance bin at a cursed Walmart. But he enjoys watching people go through horror because it makes him feel better about his own life. The bonus of this one is it can be filmed in any crappy apartment. Convenient!”