Another video game? I thought yesterday was video game day!
You though right, voice from the internet. And what you’re learning now is that EVERY DAY is video game day for Pete. Because that’s the life of a Pete. Sad, but not without its moments.
Santa Claus Jr. was only released in Europe for whatever reason, so there’s your excuse for missing this one. Also, it was a GameBoy Advance title that didn’t jump across a lot of platforms. Wait…didn’t jump across a lot of platforms. Just like me IN the game! HAHA! Oh, fuck. You guys, this has made me insane with upsetness.
So here’s the story:
Santa Claus has been captured by an evil witch and had all of the toys scattered about. It is up to a boy named Nick to try and collect all of the presents for Santa and then free him from the witch.
Sure. An evil witch.
You know what I was thinking about the other day? I was watching Thor 2, and I liked watching it, but what the hell is wrong with these bad guys in movies? The first movie had frost giants who were huge assholes. The second one had elves who were huge assholes. They all seem to want to bring about some kind of apocalypse just to be assholes.
So what’s the deal with this evil witch? She just wanted to kidnap Santa to be an asshole?
Anyway, you play as a kid named…and I can’t fucking believe it, you play as a kid named Nick. Who has a Santa coat and some magic powers. Which work by a system so goddamn complicated and rule-oriented I felt like traversing every screen was like playing a hand of Magic: The Gathering. Do this move, which costs stars. Give this kid a present, which costs…maybe something? Jump on this abominable snowman’s head, but this one you have to special super jump on. Which costs stars. Which are just sort of laying around.
I couldn’t really take much of this game. The first Santa game, that was boring, but this was just outright terrible. And confusing. And there was a fairy following you around for no reason. And sometimes I could just make more health for myself, but I don’t know how or why I would do it. It just sort of happened sometimes when I tried to jump.
Can’t recommend this one. And can’t recommend Christmas video games. This is a void, if any programmers out there are interested.