Popped open these bad boys.
See what I did there? With the pop word?
How would I rate Pop Rocks Candy Cane?
Concept:
Sure. Yes. Pop Rocks, as an idea, are awesome. Their ingredients say that they’re processed with carbon dioxide. I’m eating science right now.
Packaging:
Obnoxious. Loud. Yep. These things are perfect for Christmas. You know, I feel like energy drinks took a lot from Pop Rocks. “Taste the explosion”? I bet Red Bull looked that one up first. I don’t know how that would be an ad campaign, but it beats these dumb renaissance guys who grow wings. Seriously, do Red Bull makers have any idea who drinks that stuff? And how they feel about pastel men in robes?
Mouth Feel:
That’s such a gross term. But honestly, these are the poppingest Pop Rocks I’ve had in a long time. They almost hurt. Which is what you really want in a Pop Rock. The sense of danger.
Taste:
Cherry Candy Cane? It might be a good thing. I have a feeling mint might taste like mint ass. On the other hand, pure mint could have provided a great oral hygiene substitute.
How much have these made me enjoy Christmas?
Mmm. None. I think these things are so strange, they’re really above and outside the concept of holidays. I mean, how did these even come to be? Whose dream was it to create a food that mini-explodes in your mouth? It’s great, don’t get me wrong. For a long time, I pretty much assumed this was what people meant when they said “There’s a party in my mouth.” That or something dirty.