“Okay, you’re stuck on a desert island and you can only bring 5 books. Which 5 books do you bring?”
“Um, okay. In the City of Shy Hunters by Tom Spanbauer, Ablutions by Patrick DeWitt, The Collected Works of Raymond Carver, Apathy and Other Small Victories by Paul Neilan, and….anything with a lot of nudes in it. You know, spank material.”
“Uh, alright. Okay, now CD’s. 5 albums, desert island.”
“Hmm…Drive-By Truckers’ Dirty South, Lucero’s 1372 Overton Park, the National’s High Violet, anything by Lynyrd Skynyrd and…a CD of female sex noises. Again, spank material.”
“Fine. Now, you’re on the desert island and you can only bring 5 photos. What do you bring?”
“This is tough. Photo of me and my brother. Photo of me and my mom. Photo of me and my buddies from that wedding. Photo of Portland, OR. And a close-up photo of a porn spread from a magazine.”
“You can’t take new photos. They have to be pictures you already have.”
“Yeah. My choices stand.”
“Last one. Desert island, 5 dishes you can eat. Go.”
“Pulled pork, pizza, burrito, burger, and a shitty sheetcake from King Sooper’s, but one of the ones where they print out a photo of something and print it on top. And the photo is a nude babe.”