Whoa, whoa, whoa. Warp Zone?
Son, let me explain something to you.
I purchased a machine that I do not understand at all for $200. And this is 1985, so that means I spent about $40 billion in future monies.
I purchased this machine against my better judgment, and it turns out that I should have thought it through because when you’re playing Nintendo I’m not watching TV, and this is a problem.
But beyond that, you have just shown me that you can take a certain path in the game that allows you to go down different tubes, and these tubes allow you to bypass pretty much the entirety of the gameplay.
Son, if I could have a surgery where they cut open my tumbly and just stuck crappy food in there, I would. But if every night was steak night, I wouldn’t. Because steak is enjoyable, as are these games. Do you understand what I’m getting at here?
Let me try to explain it another way. I’m going to shot in the dark here, much like I did when you were conceived, and say there are 8 worlds with 4 sublevels apiece. Again, just a dumb dad here making assumptions. So that would equal 32 levels of play. So it’s about $6.25 per level we’re talking. And you want to cut out all but eight or so, which means we’re down to $25 bucks a level? That’s insane. That is not worth it. Granted, the level where the sky was black was pretty cool looking, and I did find it easier to pass out in front of the TV in a boozy slumber while you were playing that one, but the fact remains that I just can’t see paying $25 bucks a level.
There will be no warping in this home. End of discussion.