Why I Never Get To End Phrases With “Because That’s How I Do”

“There’s hairs that MIGHT be pubes all over the bathroom floor. I need more Swiffer pads…”

“Let’s check the manager special bread in the back…”

“I accidentally bought one pair of low-rise woman’s jeans but I wear them anyway…”

“It’s important to that your cat likes me. I bought her a laser pen…”

“Hanging sweaters gets them all stretched out. I never hang sweaters…”

“I’ve been blending chard with my kale in the morning…”