“Welcome to McDonald’s, would you like to try our most bizarre sandwich offering?”
“Thanks for choosing Burger King. What would you say to a food you’re used to, but shaped into a form that your mind can’t possibly comprehend?”
“Thank you for choosing Arby’s. Are you aware of EVERY other fast food option?”
“Please pull up to the first window. I’ve already prepared the right change in case you pay with bills, so try and ignore my disapproving look when you pay with a card.”
“Do you want that stuff you asked for, or do you want that stuff but TWICE as much?”
“Would you like one of our collector’s glasses? By ‘collector’ we mean ‘Only available here and in the bottom of every dried ditch in North Carolina.'”
“Alright, pull up to the second window, and get ready to see acne that is shocking on a spiritual level.”