Hey Snowman,
Resume help for local pool store?
I’m trying to get a job at a local leslies pool store, I found out I have to apply online. I need to submit a resume in to them through it. I never had a job and im really not sure how to approach this. What kind of stuff should I put on the resume and what format do I set it up in? I really don’t do volunteer work, I have done stuff like day working for my friends father a few time on house construction/deconstruction and a few time for my uncle too. I also cleaned wheel alignment machines for my dad multiple times which he payed me for and it was for his work, so is that any type of useful info? I’m 17 and I also have a 3.3 / 92 gpa in school so I would think that’s helpful. Idk, its a regular smaller size store so I don’t know how demanding there standards are. It says you have to have graduated or enrolled in high school which I am obviously. Any help would be great. Thanks in advance.
-Gary
Dear Gar-Bear,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, buddy. I understand that you are very excited about getting a job at a pool store, but you’re going about it the complete wrong way.
Based on some clips of movies I’ve seen online, allow me to help give you a better idea of qualities that will help.
When you work at a pool store, your primary job is to help female customers who come into the pool store. You can identify them because they wear bizarre, revealing outfits that don’t seem to make any sense whatsoever for pool shopping. Also, they will likely make very clumsy advances, likely making excuses about why they want to bang.
Don’t let them scare you, Gar. You give right back. When they say, “I was wondering if maybe we could try out the hot tub?” You say, “Let me get my fucking Speedo, babe.” When they say, “I’m so horny,” you just say, “Yes, I am also horny as well.”
From there, it usually cuts to just the sex part, which I trust you can handle by yourself. If not, I would say that you are not cut out for the pool store.
Also, let me give you a couple hints related to things I’ve seen in these pool store movies that were not pleasing. Not pleasing at all.
DO NOT tan in some kind of briefs or thong. Tan nude or not at all. If you’re wearing fabric over your man butt, it’s like man butt highlighter. Not a good luck.
Try to avoid bruising your ass and thighs the day before work. It’s unappealing.
If you’re a really sweaty guy, apply a thin sheen of Old SPice anti-perspirant to your entire person. This will hopefully keep you from dripping sweat droplets onto someone you are plowing.
Hope this helps. I could use a discount on enough chlorine to fill an apartment with gas and kill a person who is exactly my size. Will contact with details upon your acceptance at the pool store.
Yours,
H.S.