What People Seem to Be Saying About Apps

The Technologically-Challenged: “How come there isn’t an app to do this one very specific task that only I really care about, and really only for this one time?”

Newbies: “I have to show you this thing. Just let me page through about 19 pages of apps. You’re going to love this. It’s like Instagram but shittier.”

Stand-up Comedians: “My favorite go-to punchline? There’s an app for that. Gets ’em every time. Especially if there’s sex stuff we’re talking about.”

The Expert: “Oh, most of my apps are productivity-related. After a small eight-hour time investment in seeking out and downloading apps, I’m more productive than I’ve ever been.”

Pete: “I feel like every app I’ve downloaded could be 10% more pornographic without really affecting the design or functionality.”