pg. 2 Table of contents that is so goddamn busy with pictures, text in various fonts, and columns that it would never be possible to verify its accuracy.
pg. 8 Letters column consisting of correspondence that has a very creepy, very eerie appearance of being written by an adult, a job so horrifying that it’s difficult not to imagine a sad 28 year-old woman doing it with a gun in her mouth.
pg. 16 An interview with a celebrity who is not 17 and who I would prefer didn’t give advice to 17 year-olds.
pg. 22 Questions written to some kind of love expert who gives advice, most of which is along the lines of, “You’re fifteen and nobody really gives a fuck about your romance which you won’t remember when you’re 24” but put more nicely.
pg. 36 Horoscopes that use terms like “Major Crush,” “Crushing,” and “Crushing Big-Time.”
pg. 44 Column continued from earlier in the magazine, wrapping up a story of some stupid teen who started some dumb business in her school, like recycling keyboards or some shit.