“We Can Fix It: A Time Travel Memoir”

“Let’s separate this into two categories.

1. Digital Comics
I bought this digitally and read it on my phone. Which was a horrible idea and a horrible experience. Also, the download I bought gives you 24 hours to download 6 copies. Which is crazy. Why the hell would I need 6 copies in 24 hours? SIX? And on the flipside, it’s crazy because it would have been nice to access it through a purchase code for more than 24 hours. How about we meet in the middle? Two codes, forever.

It’s one of my first experiences with digital comics, and I have to say, I’m not sold. Never have I purchased a physical copy of something and then had restrictions placed on where I could read it and how. It’s not like you buy a print book and if you don’t shelve it in your home within 24 hours, poof, it’s gone.

That part sucked. Sucks still. But the above star rating doesn’t have much to do with that because that would be unfair. That would be like someone who gets on Amazon and rates a product badly because of a shipping issue. These people exist, and they are legion, and they are real dum-dums. Legion of Dumb!

2. This Comic
A lady makes or gets a time machine. There’s a time machine. And she’s gonna go back in time and fix all the mistakes she made as a young’un, which mostly have to do with awkward moments of growing up.

I didn’t finish the book because, like I said, I lost access to it. Is this theft? What’s old web(ster)-head say? “the felonious taking and removing of personal property with intent to deprive the rightful owner of it”

Huh. So in a way, Top Shelf comics kinda committed theft, did they not? Because I had personal digital property that I rightfully owned, and I was deprived!

Anyway, sorry. Back to the comic.

Here’s the thing. This lady goes back in time and seems to spend a lot of time making out with herself. Future lady makes out with past lady. I don’t even know what to call that sexual act. It’s not the same as kissing, say, your hand for practice, but it’s also not the same as kissing a completely different person.

I don’t really know why she makes out with herself, and call me judgmental, but it’s weird. In fact, fuck you if you think I’m being judgmental. I’m judging a sexual act that is IMPOSSIBLE to perform. You can’t make out with yourself. So I’m going to go ahead and judge and say it’s weird and also that it didn’t make a whole lot of sense. In a world of all the people you could make out with, a world that’s even larger because you can now skip along the 4th dimension, you decide to make out with YOURSELF!?

Of course, the question is, would you be curious? Would you make out with yourself? Just to see? Because it might provide some insight into your technique, or lack thereof. Maybe this would be an important educational experience.

My answer is no. Not just because it’s gross. My answer is no because, if I did that, then when I made out with other people I’d just be thinking about what they were experiencing while making out with me. And the last thing I need in my head when I’m making out is, erm, ANYTHING, really. Kill the mind, use a little tongue. That’s what my grandfather always said.

It’s entirely possible that this book ramps up where I left off, maybe gets funnier or crazier or just generally more fun. But alas, I’ll never know. “