Being the victim of this, can I tell you something that is really not cool?
Having a dad who is an identical twin.
It’s fucked up.
One day you come home and all of a sudden there’s two of your dad sitting on the porch in sunglasses. You’re pretty sure you know which one is real and which one is the imposter…but if you were standing there with a gun and they were both saying, “Shoot him!” “No, shoot HIM!” you might get a little flustered and shoot the wrong guy, which then makes you halfway orphan.
Your new dad might be cool. But the old dad wasn’t very cool, and this one is pretty much the same guy, as far as you can tell.
Maybe the best tactic is to have some parenting questions in mind, that way instead of worrying about shooting your current dad you can really focus on shooting the crappier dad, thereby leaving you with the better candidate. You don’t get a lot of chances to shoot a dad and replace him immediately, so you should probably run with it. I’d say, “How do you feel about chocolate ice cream?” and “How do you feel about chocolate ice cream…as an all-the-time-thing!?” are some good starter-offers. You could ask about bed times, but ultimately they can just lie on that one.
Asking your mom about it is nice too. Maybe one has a really gross dick. They’re twins in the faces, but in the dicks? Who knows? Has anyone studied twin dicks? I bet someone has, and I bet he was labeled a Monster and so on. Just because a guy wants to know if twins grow twin dicks, all of a sudden he’s the craziest guy ever. Everyone is always saying, Where are all the heroes? Well, maybe if you didn’t yell at them in the middle of doing their hero shit, they could do their hero shit all the way and we’d all be fine. Sometimes it looks like Superman is smashing the front of a train, but really he’s smashing the front of a train to save a woman who is tied down on the tracks right behind him. I bet the train conductor is like, “What are you doing, asshole?” and then when he sees that woman tied up he’s like, “Oh, that’s alright then. I’m glad I didn’t run over a pretty lady.”
If your dad is a twin, I would say scar his face badly so that you’ll never have to worry about confusion, or about your dad’s twin doing a crime and your dad going to a super criminal prison with magnet boots where everyone says, “Yeah right, your EVIL twin did it. Good one.”