Thoughts on Finding a Horsehead in My Bed

Holy shit!

How did this get in here without waking me up?

Where did someone get a horse around here?

That’s an awfully wasteful use of an entire horse, just chopping off the head like that.

Sleeping in a twin bed, this is a real problem.  If I had a King, or even a Queen, I could just kind of sleep on the other side.  But this is all horsehead bed now.

Holy crap.  This thing must weigh goddamn forty pounds.

Ah, aw, look at that.  I should have picked it up upside-down.  Now all the head stuff is spilled all over the floor.

What is that pink thing?

Do I have to take this somewhere, or can I just put it in the trash can?  I mean, it’s not like I brought this thing in here.  This was kind of foisted on me.

I wonder if when a horse dies, people will cut it up and throw it in trash bags.  Sort of like that time I had to get rid of that old computer desk.

I’ll wrap it in two bags and make sure to put some regular trash in there too.

Should I put in my bills, and that way I don’t have to shred all that stuff, or should I leave it out because then if someone finds the horse head they’ll know it was me?

Okay, here we go.  Aw gross, this is leaving a whole trail of horsehead juice on the sidewalk

[eight months later]

Man, that horsehead juice trail is still fucking there.