-What if everyone besides me can read minds, and I’m the only one who can’t do it, but nobody is saying anything because it’s such an interesting and important scientific and social experiment?
-What if I wake up tomorrow and I’ve shit myself? And then it happens again. And before long it’s clear that I just shit myself every night? How do you even, at any point in your life, stop yourself from just shitting while sleeping?
-Do you remember that Far Side comic where the guy was coming out of the bathroom and there was a big sign above the door that said, “Did not wash hands!” and it was all lit up? What if this place has that right now?
-What if, as an investigative report thing, somebody decides to put a tiny camera in the cover of all the issues of one of these grocery store magazines with a girl in a bikini on the front, and next time I see the news there I am with a black bar over my eyes, staring down a magazine while standing in line to buy Triscuts?
-What if I really have some kind of retardation that’s really obvious to everyone except me, because I’m so jacked up, and everything that happens in my life is just because people feel bad for me?