For safety, the best place to harness someone is by a series of straps all along the crotch area. Nothing says safety like Load-Bearing Crotch Strap.
I could replicate the experience of climbing rocks by drilling a bunch of multi-colored weird shapes into a wall. To simulate rocks. Also, it should be noted that I think the idea of a treadmill is ridiculous.
It is acceptable to use weird shoes, almost like those water shoes that you would wear to Water World, but not to put some kind of glue or suction cup on them.
I am deeply offended when someone uses a novelty, non-functioning carabineer as a giveaway for anything.
I’ve finally found a sport other than surfing where you can take a gigantic bong rip right before starting. I am very excited to share this fact.
I hope people will ask me about the fact that my tan line corresponds with my wearing of weird sunglasses that make me look like an insect from the future. Who wore a bandana.