“The Perry Bible Fellowship Almanack”

“If I was the kind of person who let others defecate in my home, this is what I’d keep in the bathroom for them.

I’d prefer other people don’t defecate in my home, though. Not like I’ll stop people, but c’mon, man, if you have to deuce, it’s probably time to head home. Pooping is like nature’s reminder that you’re overstaying your welcome.”