“The Motorcycle Samurai, Volume 1: A Fiery Demise”

“Someone, somewhere put this on a list of comics to check out this year. Excuse me, some A-HOLE from some S-Hole put this on my F-ing to-read list via recommendation, and F them.

There have been a few times where I’ve been reading a comic and thinking, “Damn, why’s this so choppy? And why do I keep forgetting to buy popcorn to eat while I read comics. I know I like it. I just never hit that aisle.”

And then you figure it out. Ohhhhh. This is some kinda digital comic committed to print.

Now, the problems don’t start and stop there. I’d say my main issues with the book were as follows:

1. Samurai who always has a sword and does not cut or stab anyone at any point, ever, in the entire book. She didn’t even cut a rope that made a chandelier fall on a bunch of dudes who were all running at her in a very tight pack.

2. There was a whoooooooooole lotta talk about “Bad times a’ comin’!” and “There’s gonna be blood a comin'” and a whole lotta shit was a comin’, and EVERYONE had to squint towards the desert and say something about it, but for all that talk, there was like one fight in the whole damn thing. Tell you what. Just let me know when the stuff is here. As a reader, I don’t really need to prepare for the coming trouble in this case. Just a black page and 18 MINUTES LATER will do me just fine.

3. I kinda didn’t know what the fuck was going on most of the time.

Probably the best thing about this read was a jetpack that stored two beers inside. Which seems ridiculous, but then you remember the beers are coming out of a jetpack, so eh, fuck it.”