“The Little Wooden Robot and the Log Princess”

“Every time there’s a kid’s story, one or more of the characters has to be in mortal peril.

No wonder I was so fucked up as a kid. Death was everywhere. Surrounding me. Hunting me.

What happens to the little girl in Wreck-It Ralph if they don’t solve the problem? She’ll be dead.

What happens to Johnny 5 if they can’t keep him safe? He’ll be dead.

What happens to Simba? He gets a lecture AND a song that explains that you’ll be dead, but it’s okay because other stuff won’t be dead.

The hell, man…”