The Great Firehouse Mystery
FRANK: Listen, old man. We know it’s you. Now fess up.
OLD MAN: Never! You don’t have any proof.
JOE: He’s right, Frank.
FRANK: Shut up. Alright, listen. You confess, I let you watch Joe jerk me off. No touching, no pictures. We got a deal?
OLD MAN: …yeah, alright. Deal.
The Case of the Abandoned Castle
JOE: If we can trick the old man into telling us his plan, maybe get a confession on hidden microphone, case closed.
FRANK: I got a better idea. [opens phone, dials]. Yeah, this Steve? From the abandoned castle? Listen. We know it’s you. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Tell you what. I let Frank spank me off into that grandfather clock in the dining hall, you watch, then you confess? Great. See you in fifteen.
The Floundering Florist
FRANK: Look, here’s how it works. You watch me and my brother do some sex stuff, and in exchange you just admit you done wrong. Everybody wins.
OLD MAN: Oral?
FRANK: You’re sick. Just hand stuff. And just Joe on me. I ain’t gay.
OLD MAN: Well, okay. You’re a straight shooter. I like that.
JOE: What about me?
OLD MAN: You’re jerking off your own brother. You should be ashamed. Now take your pants off.