No: I guess I’d better get up this morning.
Yes: I guess I’d better get up this morning, pull down a box of cereal, delicately place it in the fridge, then stagger back to bed for three more hours.
*
No: Looks pretty nice outside today.
Yes: Why is some fucker shooting stage lights through the curtains of my front window?
*
No: Good, got some good work done. Maybe it’s time for a brief coffee break, followed by more productive time.
Yes: Wait…I think I might be at work right now.
*
No: Chicken, rice and vegetables. That’s an appropriate lunch. Good work on that one, Pete.
Yes: Lunch? No thanks. I ate a brownie earlier. If I eat anything else I’m afraid that I’ll be delerious with just sickness instead of that intoxicating blend of hunger AND sickness.
*
No: Time to go for a jog.
Yes: Wait…I think I might be in the middle of a jog right now.
*
No: A nice drink? Why not? You’ve earned it today, friend.
Yes: They said not to mix booze with this stuff. But that’s probably just a scheme to trick you into buying more cold medicine instead of combining medicine and booze.
*
No: Alright, it’s getting late. Time for bed.
Yes: I should sleep. But maybe this time I’ll really enjoy Aliens v Predator even just a little more. Besides, couch nest is where it’s at. I’m never getting out of this thing.