“Balls! Balls, balls, balls!
This being my third adventure of choosing, I decided to take a different tack. I thought, “Well, trying to figure out what the creator, this insane Montgomery person wants me to do is not working out for me. So far I’ve ended up with no pictures of a Yeti and stuck shrunken down to the size of a grain of rice. more importantly, I don’t think I’m actually getting to the adventure part. For the most part, I hear setup, then immediately smash the story straight into the wall. It’s like the guy who dies at the tail end of boot camp in army movies. All this setup, no payoff.
THIS time I figured I would shoot for the big idea, which appeared to be a karate fight in Japan. So whenever there was a choice, instead of being responsible or taking the light risk, it was balls to the wall.
Again, I didn’t die. But I was about to be taken to Japan, where the boss of this whole operation, Big Guy, was probably going to murder me.
Just as a quick note, the main bad guy is Big Guy. Your friends are Ben and Sprazzle. And, my personal favorite because it’s insane and also because it absolutely did not need to be in the book for any reason, the name of your father’s attorney is Marvelous Marvin Carmichael.
I’m starting to lose hope that I will actually accomplish any of the goals set forth in these books. I can’t take a photo of a yeti, be taken prisoner by ant people, or participate in some kind of karate gang. I’m running out of options here.
Also, the dedication is fucking excellent:
This book is dedicated to the concept of freedom, liberty, and justice to all. Thank you, founders of this democracy.
Yes indeed. You were the TRUE choosers of this great adventure we call America.
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