“Sumo”

“Really talented artist. The story is very short and spare, but maybe that’s okay. It’s funny because people say every story should have a beginning middle and end, but this one was almost all middle. And I liked it. You get the background you need, but they don’t have to explain each character from birth to death. It’s maybe a couple months of a person’s life.

I DID kind of hope to find out more about sumo. I know nothing about it and still don’t really understand it. I have to say, it’s hard to learn about because I feel like every question I come up with is culturally insensitive. Because it seems…a little stupid. Don’t get me wrong, I think most sports are stupid. Pole Vault? That’s idiotic. And not because it’s dangerous. People are free to do a sport where they put a drill up to the sides of their heads, start drilling, and just keep going until someone stops for all I care. I just mean that when you watch it, the whole thing seems a little bizarre and silly.

So I didn’t learn a lot about sumo, is what I’m saying.

But you know what? I kind of hate when people get on here and say, “I wanted to learn more about X or hear more about Y, and I didn’t, so therefore I give this book a lower rating.” I mean, yeah, if a book is called “The Ultimate Book That Contains the History of Every Nintendo Game Ever” then there’s an expectation. But when someone writes a history of hip-hop and skips a couple groups I like, so what? People need to get good at separating what they expect from what they were told to expect. If you’re told to expect something, feel free to be disappointed. If you just made an assumption because you’re a stupid pillbug, then you get what you deserve.

My favorite example of this idiocy is from an Amazon review I found for the book Memory Wall by Anthony Doerr.

Here is the cover:

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And here is the entirety of the review:
I should know better! I bought a book only because I liked the cover picture and design featuring fossil ammonites!. Memory Wall by Anthony Doerr. Even though the NY Times critic seems to praise this book, I must say it is un-readable, ridiculously convoluted, pretentious and all together boring! And absolutely nothing… to do with fossils or ammonites.!

I mean…the mind reels.

What if we applied this logic to other things?

description

This book blows. It has nothing to do with rainbows whatsoever. 1 star.

description

I learned very little about the process of making soap from this book, nor did I learn much about cleanliness. Furthermore, the “club” formed in this book seemed to be mostly about men standing around and fighting. Not really a good primer on building up a social club.

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I really thought this movie would have more to do with astronomy and learning about the moon. I’m really into lunar stuff, and to a lesser extent the Agro Crag from Nickelodeon’s Guts because I think it’s probably the closest analogue we’ll have to the moon on the surface of the Earth. So this movie was a big letdown.

I mean, give me a goddamn break here. If you could take the 30 seconds to read the inside flap, or maybe READ A FUCKING REVIEW ON THE SITE WHERE YOU ARE NOW WRITING A REVIEW you could more reasonably manage your expectations.

Is it really a trick here? Are we being tricked to read this very thin graphic novel called Sumo because we think it will be a full explanation of the sport? No. NO, DAMMIT! So when we don’t get what we want because what we wanted had nothing to do with the book itself, how is that a rational criticism?

Ugh.

On a sidenote, if anyone DOES have a line on a piece of that Agro Crag, please email me immediately.