Stages of Riding a Bicycle to Work

2 Weeks Prior

You know, I can really do this.  People way shittier than me do it all the time.  It would be so simple.

1 Week Prior

Okay, now I’ve purchased a great new water bottle, lack of which was the only thing really keeping me from biking to work.  I’m ready.

Day One

This was a great idea.  I feel so free!

Day One + 4 Minutes

Since when is the entire way to my work uphill?  …something’s…something’s going on with my vision here…

Day One + 6 Minutes

It’s okay.  This is what they mean by pushing through the wall.

Day One + 7 Minutes

I did not know that pushing through the wall involved diarrhea farts.

End of Day One

“Hi Honey.  I was wondering if maybe on your way home you wanted to swing by and pick up me and my bike.”

Three Weeks Later

Oh, that.  Yeah, I was going to do that.  But I didn’t have the right sunglasses, you know?