Ah, the AC/DC pinball machine. This is a really pleasant sight that you can stare down upon while playing for hours on end. Pleasant, fun, classy, not at all just horrible. It’s perfect.
Baywatch pinball. Because why not, huh? Why not take a show that people watch because of semi-nudity and turn it into a game with NONE OF that nudity? It’s hard to imagine that failing. I guess it was at the height of the Pam Anderson fame, though. Speaking of which:
Pinball. With Attitude. Everything in the 90’s had to have attitude. It couldn’t just be pleasant. It had to be Shampoo…with attitude. Air Freshening…with attitude. Looking at this, I can’t help but be reminded how the motorcycle was a staple of 90’s post-apocalyptic media. If the world was going to shit, people were on bikes. I mean, I guess it’s possible. I could see people switching over to 2-cylinder, gas-saving bikes. But these things were always chromed-out to shit, had the loud pipes to make sure the band of garbage pirates knew you were coming from miles away, and half the time (perhaps this is the only reason this ever existed) we got a great shot of a mysterious rider pulling in and removing a helmet to reveal long blonde hair. What? That was a girl? I had assumed that anyone riding a bike was a dude. Even if he was wearing high heel weird boots and tight pants.
Last. Action. Hero. A fine tribute to a fine film.
I just thought of something. You know that movie The Accused where Jodie Foster gets raped on a pinball machine? Has anyone ever made a The Accused pinball machine? Because THAT seems like crossover.
It’s kind of weird because only certain kinds of movies end up being pinball machines. It’s the action movies. But why not, I don’t know, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? pinball? You shoot the ball, the obese mom eats them. Retarded Leonardo Dicaprio. It’s all there.
I bet this one is hard to find between Sandra Bullock trying to destroy every trace of this movie and Wesley Snipes hoarding these machines in order to remember how good things once were. Oh, the days…
Twister pinball. Hopefully complete with Goo Goo Dolls soundtrack. Note the fan up top that blows out the hot, stale arcade air that makes you feel like you’re sitting in a van with Philip Seymour Hoffman’s character, trying not to vomit up the Jack-In-The-Box you had for breakfast while chasing goddamn clouds.
