Howdy,
We have some very special, very important announcements today.
First, congratulate me on our very first Print Issue of helpfulsnowman, which you may find in a bathroom stall or placed underneath a paper towel to absorb bacon grease near you. It looks awful, which is a terrible reverse marketing scheme of sorts.
Secondly, if you aren’t friends with me online, be friends with me online. I’m much nicer online than in person. Click “Like” on posts and retweet your favorites so that friends can share in the fun.
www.facebook.com/helpfulsnowman
www.twitter.com/helpfulsnowman
Third, there are some big changes coming. Don’t worry, all good, all still involving free content for you. I just dropped almost $700 to make this all happen, and I want it to be great. Here’s what I need:
Please send me your Dear-Abby-type questions over the next week. It can be anything. Frankly, I don’t give a damn if it’s entirely made up. I’ll protect all identities unless you specifically ask me to do otherwise for the sake of embarrassing someone. Don’t worry, the actual text of your message won’t be copied and pasted online, and I’ll delete the originals, so any line back to you will be destroyed.
So, with that in mind, no matter how many nude photos it involves, how silly it may be, how nude, how disturbing, how nude, or how nude, send me your questions, helpfulsnowman and that’s a gmail. You can send them to me via facebook too, or Twitter if your problems are condensed. You might have to get creative. “No dad=drinking to happy then sad.”