As someone who is sick all the time, I have tried just about every different method of dealing with the common cold. Listed below are some of them, along with a list of pros and cons.
Method: Nyquil Fugue
Procedure: Take Nyquil more often and in greater amounts than recognized as proper by some jerk scientist in a lab somewhere who don’t know shit about you or your needs.
Pro: You’re never really afraid of being sick because you don’t remember it.
Con: As you pass in and out of unconsciousness, you can’t help but feel like you’re only a pair of handcuffs on a drainpipe away from being in a Saw scenario.
^
Method: Getting Hammered
Procedure: Drinking booze until your head doesn’t hurt anymore.
Pro: For a little while, you actually feel pretty great. Ready to dance, even.
Con: The next day your hangover is crammed into your brain by eight metric tons of snot.
^
Method: Live Like It’s the Zombie Apocalypse
Procedure: Lock yourself inside your tiny apartment, shut the doors and windows, and don’t leave for anything, as though packs of zombies rule the streets.
Pro: You feel surprisingly productive for just surviving the day. It’s just one minute at a time.
Con: Well-wishers do not take it well when they come over with soup and you attack them with a folding chair.
^
Method: Spread the Infection
Procedure: Sort of the way the Highlanders become more powerful when they kill each other, I feel that a cold becomes less powerful the more you spread it to others.
Pro: Regardless of the effectiveness of the procedure, you can take comfort in the fact that everyone else feels like shit.
Con: This means continuing to go to work, the store, the gym, and so on. What’s the point of being sick if you put on pants?