“I was a bit surprised to read the backstory of the Boogie Nights character in the form of a middle grade comic, but so it goes.
Iâve been to some roller derby. Itâs fun. I think itâs a charming sport because itâs not like anyone skating does this for a living. They have to pretty much do it out of love. So theyâre normal people, which is fun.
But the secret of roller derby is you have to make sure youâre going to the right kind of match. Oftentimes what a team will do is split into two teams and compete against each other. So youâre watching a scrimmage, and in a sport that involves knocking people down on a wooden track, the fire isnât exactly there, you know?
Astrid, the titular Roller Girl, is kind of a Butthole and kind of comes around, but Iâm not sure she really stops being a Butthole.
Why is my phone capitalizing Butthole?
Astrid is a really capital-b Butthole (there, Iâll just make up an excuse FOR MY PHONE) to her longtime friend, and it seems like sheâs mostly a Butthole because her friend likes pink and boys and ballet and Astrid doesnât like that stuff.
I sort of walked away feeling like the message here is that Astrid is cool and badass and her friend is a weenus who should learn how to git cul. Which feels like the way Astrid would see things from her perspective, but isnât how an adult would read this.
Itâs realistic that way. I think kids at that age are selfish. Itâs just a developmental stage.
I just felt like Iâm #TeamAstridsFriend at the end, even though Astridâs interests are more appealing and sheâs tough and refuses to give up on her goals. Her friend seems very nice and is a lot more mature about the dissolving friendship.
I was kind of a jerk to my elementary school best friend in middle school because I got a girlfriend and then 100% ignored my former best friend. Weirdlyâ¦me and this girlfriend went to the roller rink every week for our dates. Maybe thereâs an evil in them floorboardsâ¦
The relationship lasted the entire school year, which is kind of amazing, but then she made out with Danny Holland on a school trip to D.C. and that was the end of the road. Cue Boyz II Men.
I cried a little, and my dad (who is truly insane) came into my bedroom to comfort me, and he said, âI know it hurts right now, but no matter how sad you get, donât commit suicide, okay?â
Weirdly, this made me feel better because he left the room and I was like, Jesus Christ, I hadnât even CONSIDERED suicide over this! What the fuck, dad?!
Later events including him being in a mental institution illuminated some of where this was all coming from.
So going into 7th grade, I was single. I guess. Is a 7th grader really âsingle?â Anyway, I tried to slide back into friendship with my old buddy, and he basically was like, âNope, weâre not friends anymore.â Which he was right to do.
We grew up in the same town and still live there, and we run into each other from time to time, and heâs a nice guy. Heâs not like carrying a grudge or anything.
My old girlfriend got in trouble with meth. I donât know much about it. Iâm sure she wasnât using meth in middle school. Like 99% sure. I guess I wouldâve been clueless if she was. Butâ¦Iâm pretty sure.
I ended up hanging out with a couple other weird kids. One of them is my good friend today. And thatâs the little where are they know, Stand By Me ending where no one gets stabbed in the throat.
Point being:
As an adult Iâve realized I was being a dick by abandoning my friend like that.
So maybe Roller Girl reminds me of the way I wouldâve told the story at the time. Me and my friend drifted because I was interested in a girl and he seemingly wasnât. But as an adult, Iâd say I abandoned my friend because I was interested in a girl, and that was dumb and kinda heartless.
And thatâs probably what didnât fill me with love for Roller Girl. “