Wonder Woman, Vol. 1: Blood by Brian Azzarello
My rating: 2 of 5 stars
Fuck me, what a throwback to the old days of comics when the cover has NOTHING to do with the story.
Where’s the solid wall of arrows blocking out the sun that Wonder Woman has to plow through?
Where’s the gladiator-style combat?
How is it we have like 3 gods in the room at the same time and then they all just sort of leave without fucking shit up?
Why are the most badass characters in this centaurs? Nobody likes centaurs. All the jerk of a horse with none of the horse lips to cover in peanut butter like Mr. Ed.
Oh, and by the way, I totally get what people are talking about with unrealistic, high-bar expectations to live up to for women. Because Wonder Woman’s hair is fucking amazing in this book. Like, unbelievable. I didn’t even notice if there were gratuitous butt shots because I couldn’t stop looking at her hair. If Wonder Woman was real, I would invent a shampoo company just to have her endorse it, because we would make billions. We’d say the secret ingredient was men’s tears or something. Whatever. A portion of every bottle sold goes to benefit barren women who made babies out of clay that DIDN’T come to life. Which is MOST women who tried the clay baby thing. Which is like three people.
What I’m saying is, we make a mint and end up not needing to donate a whole lot.
The best part of this, Wonder Woman blows on a torch and turns it into a goddamn flamethrower that goes 50 feet or something. That was my favorite part of the book. I guess I’m 5.