Kevin Smith’s the Bionic Man Volume 1: Some Assembly Required by Kevin Smith
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
It turns out, as Sam said in his review, that this was a 90’s Kevin Smith screenplay adapted into comic book form some 10 years later.
Quote: “True story: when I turned in a script for The Six Million Dollar Man back in ’98, there was an exec who dismissed it as being more like a comic book than a movie.”
Interesting stuff. Kinda the same treatment given to George Lucas’ original Star Wars screenplay.
I like this idea. There are some movies out there that’ll never get made, because they’re expensive or made by the wrong people at the wrong time. But I’d love a whole series of graphic novels based on screenplays that never made it to film.
The ones I wanna see most?
Beetlejuice 2: Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian
Yes, the sequel to Beetlejuice that never happened. Kind of on purpose.
The story goes that Tim Burton wasn’t too hot on doing a squeakwel, so when he was asked to pitch one, he basically came up with the laziest, most-asinine idea he could think of, which was to superimpose Beetlejuice in Hawaii and have basically the same story but with more surfing.
I’m not unhappy that this movie was never made, but I’m down for seeing what would have been.
Jodorowski’s Dune
If you haven’t seen that documentary yet, totally do it.
The entire storyboard exists in graphic novel form already. 
Why the hell can’t we put this out? I’m into it, and what I say is very important. To everyone.
Sovereign
Supposedly there’s a script floating around out there about a guy who goes to space to destroy a sentient spaceship that killed his wife. This sounds totally awesome.
Gladiator 2
Hear me out.
Gladiator did its thing, and then they wanted to do it again. So they hired none other than Nick Cave to come up with a screenplay that not only provided the sequel’s meat, but also explained away that whole thing where Maximus was, you know, dead.
Well, he did it. Viewers would find Maximus fighting gods in the afterlife, he’d be reincarnated as immortal, and he’d go on to just fight and fight and fight his way through time, wedging his sandal right up time’s ass all the way up to the current day.
Now, don’t get me wrong. This is a profoundly stupid idea. But it would be a great read.
Kevin Smith’s Superman
The project that never was, I’d love to see what Kevin Smith and Time Burton’s Superman would have looked like. Honestly, I feel like, at the time, there was a lot of trepidation about whether those two dudes were the right ones for the job, but in hindsight, with the shitty Supermen we’ve gotten in more recent times, I don’t see how it could’ve caused any harm. And maybe what Superman really needs is a fanboy treatment.
Silver Surfer
With a script by J. Michael Stracizinsksiyfdsicsiuasdihjkcjzxh, I’d be down to see it switched over to comics format.