Indestructible Hulk, Vol. 3: S.M.A.S.H. Time by Mark Waid
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
Ahh! I got tricked into reading ANOTHER time travel story! How did I not see that asshole from the Revolutionary War on the cover? I mean, he’s behind Hulk and a bunch of…orange energy stuff. But still.
The things I liked about this time travel narrative are these:
1. A guy is basically like, “You assholes keep fucking around with time like it’s no big deal, but it totally is, and now time is broken.” I just like that SOMEONE is like, “Maybe there’s a consequence to all this time traveling, you jerks!”
2. Hulk, from my understanding, punches so hard that he punches someone IN A DIFFERENT TIME PERIOD. This is like those playground threats about how you’re gonna hit someone so hard his grandkids are gonna feel it, except it really happened.
And that’s pretty much it.
Look, no more time travel. Comics are in a perpetual state of jumping the shark and then retconning the shark out and so on, but can we just take a break with the time travel? Can we at least stop jumping the shark in a DeLorean?
I can’t stress enough how little I want to see another time travel story. It’s just so fuckin’ stupid. Because if you can go back in time, then you can always just go even more backer in time and fix stuff even more!
Like the time Superman flew around the Earth and rotated it backwards, which somehow made time turn backwards. Not only is it a stupid thing because, duh, doing something backwards doesn’t undo it (try putting a poo BACK IN the way it came if you doubt me on this), but also it’s a stupid result, leaving us with the question of why Superman doesn’t just fix everything ever. Because now he can! He could just Groundhog Day this shit until he gets it perfect.
Anyway, let’s not do the time travel, fellas. If we could put that off for a while, that’d be super.