Hot Dudes Reading by Hot Dudes Reading
My rating: 1 of 5 stars
I have two big problems with this book. Well, four problems. Two are big problems, two are small problems. And if this were Hot Dudes Reading, I would be making a lame dick joke about the small problem or the big ones or whatever, because basically the words “big” and “small” are MORE than enough to set up a HILARIOUS dick joke here.
Big Problem 1. When Did Sexiness = Validation?
I’m kind of tired of sexiness being the benchmark of value for people and activities. Why does SEXY people reading all of a sudden mean something? Oh, if sexy people do it, then it must be good, because sexy people are KNOWN for making good decisions.
No, they’re known for being sexy.
It’s the same thing that nerdiness has gone through. “Nerdiness is sexy.”
No, it’s not. Someone who is sexy can be a nerd, but nerdiness is not sexy. It can be attractive, it can be a sought-after quality, but someone knowing what it means to “tap mana” doesn’t immediately make me want to “tap ass.” Relating to someone through nerdy pursuits can definitely lead to getting to know someone better and finding them more sexy, but I defy anyone to name me a non-physical manifestation of nerdiness that is SEXY.
We do this with confidence. “Confidence is sexy.” Is it? Because the most-hated man in America, Donald Trump, is confident as fuck. Say what you will about him, it’s hard to shit on him for being scared of the limelight. As for his sexiness, I’ll leave that to your personal preference.
Sense of Humor, style, intelligence. All crucial, key elements to personality, but not sexy. I’ve fallen more deeply for someone with a sense of humor, but no one has ever told a joke so good it made me hard. God, I wish. But that would mean Brian Regan would be like the sexiest man alive.
Not everything has to be sexy. Sexy isn’t the pinnacle. We don’t have to do everything to the point it becomes sexy.
Because I can like, work with, and really enjoy people who I don’t want to fuck. That’s the thing. I respect the opinions of people I don’t want to sleep with.
Now, I might be exhibiting stereotypical male thinking here in saying that someone who is sexy is sexier to me than someone who is really great at guitar. Let’s not make the mistake of thinking that I’m saying guitar playing and knowledge of Magic: The Gathering are UNsexy. Anti-sex. I just find these things to be, mostly, sex neutral, at least until the point where I get to know someone and everything becomes sexy, sort of the way you find your partner’s habit of night drooling endearing as opposed to vile.
Anyway, this book is doing one of two things, validating reading by showing that hot dudes do it, or validating hot dudes by saying, “Can you believe hot dudes are like real people?” Which brings me to…
2. This Would Be Totally Unacceptable With A Simple Gender Swap
I’m just going to take some of the text and gender/bio swap the relevant bits. Keep in mind, these sentences would be accompanying photos of women reading books on the subway, who appear unaware they’re being photographed.
Original: “He already has me doing high kicks, so let’s hope this Hedwig has more than an angry inch.”
Revised: “She already has me hard, so let’s hope this Menzel’s vagina isn’t Frozen.”
Original: “I’d like to do my own hands-on research to find out if his lean isn’t the only thing that falls to the left.”
Revised: “I’d like to do my own hands-on research to find out if her umbrella isn’t the only thing that’s wet.”
Original: “This Wall Street stud is burning the midnight oil, because money never sleeps…and we won’t either.”
Revised: “I’m sitting directly across from a well-dressed business woman on what appears to be a deserted train, and while she reads I’m imagining having sex with her. Ignoring her professional attire, what that means, and the fact that she’s reading is only relevant in that it has given me a smokescreen to stare, take a picture, and fantasize.”
Okay, that last one isn’t very joke-y, but I think it makes the point.
I find the very concept here creepy. Here’s a headline about the Instagram that birthed this book:
“…the Hot Dudes Reading Instagram is prowling the streets and subways of New York…” Wow. “Prowling.” That sounds like an article about The Punisher.
Of course, if the men had consented to the photos, snap away. BUT, here’s an excerpt from a CBS article:
“The owners of the Hot Dudes Reading account recently posted a message on Facebook reaching out to the photos’ subjects, offering to take down any snapshot that made them uncomfortable. No takers so far.”
I see. So we’re taking photos of attractive men, posting them with sexy, fantasized captions, and then, rather than getting consent, reverse-engineering consent by posting on a Facebook page that people can ask to be removed. Seems legit.
“Hey, I’m putting up sex tapes I made, and if any of the other people in them (there ARE a couple that have people other than me, thank you very much) are uncomfortable, YOU contact ME and I’ll take them down.”
Frankly, I think the whole thing is creepy as fuck, and we let it slide by because the subjects of the photos, fantasies, and scrutiny are strapping men, and we’re not concerned for their physical safety. AND MEN DON’T HAVE FEELINGS. As long as a man isn’t going to be injured physically, he doesn’t care! He doesn’t have an opinion on being a sex object. He loves it! He’s a man! We’re giving men what they want!
Men aren’t people. They’re men!
And I know what people would say to criticize my POV here.
“Well, women are objectified all the time, fair’s fair.”
And if that’s your perspective, cool.
I would just say that when women are objectified, individuals have every right to be unhappy about it and to say something about it. And so, when men are objectified, expect the same reaction.
I’m not advocating that this Instagram be killed or anything like that. I’m just asserting the right to see something I think is wrong and to object to it.
3. The Dick Jokes Aren’t That Good
C’mon. I’m the kind of person who can chuckle at a good dick joke. Even a so-so dick joke. These were more clever than funny, and I’ll always be on the side that clever and funny are not the same thing.
4. The Dude at 14th Street/Union Square Is Sitting On The Stairs
If you think reading is sexy, then how about common fucking courtesy? Is there a worse place to sit than on the stairs? This dude, I promise you, you do not want to take home. Forget pissing on the toilet seat, a man who sits on the steps in the subway is pissing on your magazines.