A Couple of Stops by Winifred Holtby
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Great collection. Delivers on the premise, good stories that are short enough to read over the course of a couple train stops. The Tom Spanbauer story is great, naturally. The Winifred Holtby is also truly awesome. Her story is the best version of a thinkpiece I’ve read a hundred times by now. The difference being, she creates a fictional event that’s a very big deal, uses it to make a point, doesn’t turn it into an essay (because she trusts readers are smart enough to get it), and doesn’t forget to write really great prose throughout. It’s a story that makes a point rather than a point that has a story thumbtacked to its back.
The only problem with this book, there is no train where I live. And the bus, well…
It would take about double the time to get to work. Which isn’t ridiculous or anything. BUT, the bus in town costs $4.50/day. AND, on a closing night I’m at work until 9 PM, at which point it’s too late to catch a bus home. So the bus kinda blows here.
But that’s no surprise. The bus blows in general. Why?
Why does the bus have to stop every damn block? Couldn’t it stop at every other block? Or maybe disabled riders could request it stop when the hell ever, but the rest of us can walk like two blocks instead of getting dropped? And holy shit is that annoying. You’ll be on the bus, the bus pulls over, it takes forever for a small group of people to get on, and then some numbnuts gets off the very next block! You’d have gotten there so much faster if you just got out at the last stop. And then the bus wouldn’t have to stop just for you. Damn.
Can’t we just tax everyone for the bus and the rides could be free? It’s not that the money is a problem for me, it’s the inconvenience of buying a ticket or paying in cash or whatever. That shit slows the bus way down. And if you think that the cost is keeping undesirables off the bus, I’d recommend you take a ride on a bus now and then.
Why can’t buses have like secret underground roads and shit? That way there’d be a good reason to take a bus in a crowded city. Plus, great fodder for heist movies.
Where’s the fucking hoverbus that can hoverbus over water? Not that it’s necessary, but it would be super cool and another reason to ride the goddamn bus.
Why isn’t there a bus that doesn’t actually stop, just drives along and slows down a little near the stops so you can jump on and off? That would be so much faster, plus more fun.
Bus transfers. Someone figure this out, because these little paper slips that the driver is responsible for, that’s bullshit.
Couldn’t they make a thing on the bus where it shows the stops and you just press with your finger where you want to stop? How is it 2017 and we’re still pulling a cord? We are using telephones to do the craziest most futuristic shit while we’re on the bus, and then we’re pulling a cord to tell the bus to stop?
Can I just start my own bus service if I want to? What’s the legality there? If I started a competing bus service that picked people up at the bus stop, is that so wrong?
Why do party buses all have stripper poles? I know that’s not a city bus thing, but seriously, that’s stupid. If you want to see a stripper, you’re in a party bus. Drive the fucking bus to where strippers are, go inside, and then come back out when you’re done. The point of a party bus isn’t to have your entire party contained on the bus. It’s to go from place to place. Gah!