Every other day, one part or another of the gym is closed. Usually because they are going to have 4 million kids destroying the premesis for a few hours. As a warning, they always hang up paper signs, and it’s kind of annoying.
However, there are some closure signs they could hang up that would make me say, “Well, alright. It’s about time.”
ATTENTION CUSTOMERS: the fitness center will be closing early during the month of May as a deterrent to the weird guy who uses the stair machine in cutoff jeans during the last 30 minutes we’re open. We will resume regular hours when he finds a new gym.
ATTENTION CUSTOMERS: the locker rooms will be closed during the month of July while we run tests to determine if the brown stuff mashed into the floor is poo or something else far, far worse.
ATTENTION CUSTOMERS: the pool will be closed forever unless you all learn to behave.
ATTENTION CUSTOMERS: the basketball court will be closed because basketball blows.
ATTENTION CUSTOMERS: the fitness center will be closed in the month of July while we come up with a storage solution to replace the “cubbies” that is appropriate for adults.