Aerosol sprays are for killing insects. This does not include crabs, so there’s no reason to aerosol your body.
The sound of using a hygiene product should not be identical to the sound of uncapping a can of spray paint and tagging a train car.
Your body scent shouldn’t be vaguely metallic.
Any spray product should be sprayed at least 4 inches away, not in an X over your chest from a distance so close that your awful body hair clogs the nozzle from time to time.
You do not smell classy. You smell like what a 15 year-old thinks classy smells like. And 15 year-olds don’t even know that there is stuff in that tank on the back of a toilet that make it work.
The graphic design on your cologne should not be done by the same guy who designs the Full Throttle energy drink cans.
If your cologne can be sprayed into a paper bag and huffed to get real fucked up, you’ve made a bad choice.
The only thing Axe is cutting is any chance you have of seeing an actual nude woman.
Your body products should be advertised in periodicals like Esquire or GQ, not Maxim and Amazing Spider-Man.