-Launch at 4 AM.
-Horrifying half outdoor elevator ride to the top of the shuttle.
-I look shitty with a flat top, shot-sleeved button-up, skinny tie, and chunky black glasses.
-Difficulty in video games with piloting, specifically remembering if up is down or if up is up.
-Lack of cool name such as Buzz, Gus, or Chip.
-Most feared methods of dying: burning up, suffocating, exploding, and opening capsule parachute to find some joker attached an anvil.
-Lack of self-control when it comes to not hitting 400 switches when they are presented to me.
-Inability to drive around downtown areas suggests difficulty navigating goddamn outer space.
-Time until space dementia sets in and Pete kills someone, or something assuming test animals are aboard: 4 minutes.
-Inability to go more than 8 days without smoked brisket.
-White is not my color.
-Furious anger at need to carry dumb suitcase of air around before getting on shuttle.
-Hatred for Florida.
-Intense fear of ocean life likely to cause splashdown of capsule at Thunder Bay, Water World.