Desire by the writers to fill in the underdeveloped character of the idiot who was stuck on the roof, who was by far the most boring person in the entirety of the first movie. My prediction: He spends a lot of time saying, “Wait a minute…where’s [the name of the Zach Galifinakis character]?
To create a media stir by denying Mel Gibson a part in the movie, despite the fact that the first film featured Mike Tyson, a CONVICTED RAPIST.
To further explore the themes of brotherhood, perceptions of passage of time, and weird gay Chinese guys.
To give America the chance to watch Bradley Cooper and decide, at last: Hottie or RatMan.
Because who, as an actor, doesn’t dream of getting fifteen minutes into a movie and then screaming the line, “Not again!”
Because idiots still have a space on their DVD shelf between Knocked Up and Scarface. Yes, I realize that H doesn’t come between K and S. Remember they’re the idiots here. You and me are the Smarts.
Because after finally getting up the guts to leave his girlfriend for a funnier, more enjoyable, more attractive, less abrasive, free-spirited, generous, kind, giving lady, it will be really fascinating to see where Andy from the Office goes next.
Fuck you, because you have eight dollars. Just give us the eight dollars.