Are you tired of not having a flat belly? I can help.
I have real, flawless, online tips for a flat belly. You may have seen me from my super fucking obnoxious ads on the sides of web pages that are often neon and flashing. Have you ever clicked them? No? Well, we’ll just keep trying.
The first thing that you need to know is that a big part of having a flat belly is buying something online. It might be a pill or a workout tape or just about anything. The important thing to know is that it’s not free. Sure, there are countless hours of free workouts on youtube, but let’s be honest, you only watched those because the lady had huge cans, and even that got old after a while because she was annoying and sounded eastern European and would always post videos of jeans she bought. Boring.
You want a free tip, something to get you started? Okay, how about this: Don’t eat pork belly. It’s made of belly, so where do you think it’s going to go on your body? That’s just the freebie right there.
To order this system, just click on just about any banner ad, especially if it looks like a shooting game of some kind. Or, just misspell any of your favorite URLs. We’ll be right there waiting.
Or, just give out your email to anyone. Even just out loud r over the phone. We’ll not only send you constant emails, but we’ll also send you special offers for other things you might need. Penis pills? You bet.
That too much work? How about we’ll put bizarre signs all over town that look like someone made them in the garage or one of the abandoned warehouses from the Saw movie? Just call the number on there, or visit the web site. It’s short and easy to remember, that you can be sure of. Weightloss.blogspot.start2day.blogger.q.blog.s.com. It’s as easy as that, and if you can’t trust people getting paid three dollars an hour to staple shit to light posts, who can you trust?