“Random” Defined

A lot of people are putting the word “Random” as the title of a Facebook photo album.

Please stop.  You clearly do not understand the definition of the word “Random.”

Allow my friend Merriam Webster, not to be confused with the little black kid who hid in secret rooms all the goddamn time, assist:

random:  CHANCE, HAPHAZARD

Wow, what a help.  Although this WAS the motivation for my new comic book series Hap Hazard, the story of a kid named Hap Huzzerd who has an accident and uses his heightened abilities to fall off of things on construction sites and stop his own life.  Check it out monthly from Top Cow Comics.

Anyway, back to you.  The word “random” implies that just about anything might show up in this album.  It might be pictures of your mom, the Grand Canyon, your mom from her days at the gentlemen’s club when she was known as the “Grand Canyon,” and so on.

It would be the equivalent of dropping all the pcitures you own into a hat, pulling out twelve, and slapping them in an album.  THAT would be random.

Here are some things that DO NOT make an album random:

-being too lazy to tag or caption photos.

-having really shitty photos in there that were not taken out because you just didn’t feel like it or figure that you will learn Photoshop someday, whatever the hell that is.

-using the word “random” to make it seem like you don’t give a shit so that I don’t criticize your pictures.  Well guess what?  They suck, and so do all the jerks in them.

In conclusion, a better word would be “assorted.”  There’s variety, they are not necessarily ordered, but they do have some unifying theme.  You don’t find an assortment of chocolates where one of the spaces for candy is filled with fingernails.  At least not in the continental U.S.