Questions I Have for Former Teachers

Why do I know where the Amazon river is while I can’t point to Korea on a map?

How come I know how to find the area under a curve using a series of trapezoids but have no idea how to fill out a check properly?

Why did you shut off the TV while the Columbine shootings were happening in order to tell me about Ivan the Terrible, a man who was supposedly shot, stabbed, poisoned, and thrown in a river?

Why did you have Mr. Chocolate come to tell us about staying away from gangs that would never have me, and also to tell me to stay in school and get into Harvard, who would also never have me?

Did we really have to make up that snow day?  Seriously?

Did you really think that by not naming the reading groups bronze, silver and gold that we wouldn’t notice which group was most advanced when one was reading a chapter book and another was reading a pamphlet on trade school welding programs?

Do you really think that beard is necessary?

How can you stand to hear year after year of first-year band students struggle through the Top Gun theme song?

What did you think I would walk away with after watching John Tesh Live at Red Rocks for the third time in as many years?