When told you have to wear shoes inside the gym when not in the pool area, youre reaction is:
A. To say, “Oh, that makes sense because that’s the rule at every place I’ve ever been besides the beach.”
B. To be a little upset, but think it through before exploding.
C. To shout at one of your five kids, “Here’s another quarter, the third goddamn quarter we’ve spent today to get into the locker!” while one of your children cries at your rage.
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What is the appropriate interval for leaving your hockey gear in your gym bag after putting it away soaked in sweat (bearing in mind that you are a man in your early 20’s)?
A. For the ride home at which point you remove it all so that it can dry and therefore remain not smelly.
B. The day following its use, which is not very soon but you are very tired following hockey and are fairly diligent about wiping it down.
C. Until the next time you play hockey one week later when you remove the pads, so noxious that people using the track on the upper level can smell your previous weeks’ body odors from where they are and fill the locker room with the stench of amateur hockey, babies had out of wedlock, axe body spray, and Rock Star energy drinks not even the regular one but the one in the purple can.
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What would you guess is the appropriate number of lifts you could complete in a half hour:
A. About 6.
B. About 4.
C. About 1. That’s assuming you don’t have to answer nine texts, check out more than three asses in the mirror, weigh yourself on both of the scales just in case one is wrong, drink a shitty shake in what looks like a giant sippy cup, and then actually sit on the machine.
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Which of these is appripriate workout attire:
A. Jean shorts and a t-shirt.
B. Long black jeans and tucked in t-shirt with a belt.
C. Shitty long jean shorts and a cocked hat.
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The best person to hire as a janitor would be:
A. A mustachioed older gentleman who always has good advice.
B. A jovial black man who turns out to be a former bluesman.
C. A gigantic bald weirdo who is always walking around with a broom and a red face and staring at things with an intensity that makes you suspect he needs a serious adjustment in his medications.
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Which of the following things should be thrown on the floor?
A. Gallons of water you somehow still have in your swimming suit.
B. Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, which are subsequently mashed into the floor.
C. Regular Cheetos, also mashed into the floor.