“I’m not even fucking around when I say this volume contains a story about a military contractor who built a sub-par submarine that presents a danger to everyone on it(!!!!!!) Ripped from the future headlines!
Can we talk about this whole submarine disaster where a bunch of people died going down in a shitty submarine to look at the Titanic?
1. Nobody Is Asking You To Feel Bad
I’ve heard A TON of people who are like, “Whatever, they had $250k to blow on a submarine trip, I’m not weeping over their death or anything.” Okay, yes, you don’t need to be hit super hard by the death of a bunch of people you don’t know and never heard of. But nobody asked you. Do you go through the obits every day and rank them on a scale of how sad you are? No? Because you’re not a total monster? Ah, I see. I see.
2. Is $250K Really That Much?
I mean, sure, for me, it’s a HUGE amount of money I would very much like to have. But is it so much that we’re all into this “eat the rich” shit? If I found out one of my friends inherited $250k from a dead relative, possibly after spending the night in his haunted mansion, it wouldn’t fundamentally change how I felt about that person. It’s not “Make your own vanity space rocket” money, you know? Someone who has $250k to blow on a boat ride is certainly richer than I am, but I can’t go by that standard. If I did, a good half of people would be rich fat cats because they owned a home or a vehicle that’s not old enough to drink in a bar. “Wealthier than I am” isn’t the same as “Super rich.”
3. How Much Should They Have Known?
A lot of “They should’ve looked into this submarine before they got on it” going around as well. Which, if you’ve ever been on a zipline, subpar carnival ride, waterslide of almost any kind, c’mon, you’re doing the same shit on a different monetary scale. Do you think going on a zipline is a safe thing to do? Is rafting without a helmet a safe thing to do? Is driving at excessive speed safe? How much research did you do before you got on that slingshot thing at the carnival in the mall parking lot? When you fly, do you select the airline with the best safety record and research the plane type you’ll be on? Do you make a vehicle purchase based on safety? I mean, I get it, but at the same time, I think we all like to pretend we’re smarter than the folks who got on that sub. Meanwhile, given the chance, you’d go parasailing in a heartbeat.
4. I Don’t Think Wishing Death Upon Wealthy People Is A Good Moral Stance
Even if wealth is inherently evil, which some folks believe, I don’t think I would be willing to go so far as to say that the penalty for wealth should be DEATH. Maybe we could just, you know, take some of the money? Like, through a yearly system where people contribute to the greater good, financially, which is made a little more fair and reasonable because it’s not created and implemented BY THE SUPER WEALTHY? I don’t know, that seems far-fetched, probably just best to implode everyone, eh? Either way, I just think it’s unreasonable to say that someone who has money should just go ahead and die. “