“Super cute, and the romcom is still alive in books, even if it’s sorta dead on the screen.
It’s always been a dream of mine to own and operate a pumpkin patch. Not a dream, an “Eccentric Millionaire Idea.” See, I keep a list of EMIs because in case I become a millionaire, I want to be ready to put the money to good use.
Most millionaires do boring things with their money. They have a big fancy house and shit, cars, but why not, I don’t know, commission a rollercoaster to be made that goes around a giant statue of you? Why not open a bar that’s only open on daylight savings so it’d be set to close at 1 am, then be open another hour?
Why not open a pumpkin patch?
Pete’s PumpHole (part of the “Pete’s Hole” set of businesses) has it all.
We’ve got a hayride. But instead of being a wagon with hay on it, we’ve basically saddled hay bales and put them on go-kart chassis. Dangerous!
We’ve got a pumpkin catapult you can use to launch pumpkins at a golf cart being driven by a foolhardy teenager. Ill-conceived!
We’ve got mini golf. And most of the obstacles are pumpkins, so things become sort of difficult towards the end of the season when all the tunnels start to sag. Smelly!
We’ve got a corn maze. But it’s actually just a maze drawn on a dried-up ear of corn. Misleading!
We’ve got apple spider. You heard me right. The secret ingredient is just a punch of cardamom. Bet you thought I was going to say spiders. But no, that’s in the name, dumbass, who how would that be secret?
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