See that guy? Every time he’s bluffing, he puts his hand on his penis and strokes it to completion in his pants.
Him over there? Whenever he’s got a good hand, he opens his eyelid and pushes his finger straight into his eyeball pretty hard.
That dude? He’ll ask if you want to go do whippets. That’s not a tell, but if you want to go do whippets, that’s your man right there.
He strokes his mustache, but actually what he’s doing is smelling to see if he washed his hands properly. Most people don’t know this, but the only reason that most mustaches are grown is because people fear they aren’t wiping properly and want to figure out a sly way of giving their own fingers a little sniff every so often.
He pees into his catheter. You can see the bag strapped to his leg slowly expanding. Convince that sucker to wear tight pants and you could take him for all he’s worth. All that he and his pee bag are worth.
When she’s got lousy cards you can tell because she starts crying. She’ll say that it’s only because her husband fell from where he was repairing a wind turbine and this is the spot where they had their honeymoon exactly one year ago today. But if you ask me it’s a bunch of bullshit and she’s pretty much terrible at cards anyway, so she deserves to get took.