RomCom
Pete: I love you.
Lady: But I’m a klutzy weirdo who works at a newspaper.
Pete: Listen, I know that sounds bad to you, but I just dated someone who stabbed her sister with a screwdriver she sharpened on her front teeth. So I’m good with this.
Super Hero Movie:
Superman: He’s too powerful. I can’t do it.
Pete: Sure you can.
Superman: No, I really can’t. He has a whole island made of Kryptonite.
Pete: Oh, okay. You got Green Lantern’s phone number?
Superman: …
Pete: Thought so. Use your brain next time, dum dum.
Western:
Old Crusty Badass: Revenge is all I have left now.
Pete: Okay, I understand. But maybe what we need is a change of perspective. You could risk life and limb to kill this dude. Or you could consider that the world we live in is pretty much the worst time and place ever. I mean, he killed your family, but we’re ALL diving into a horse trough every other day to avoid being impaled by arrows. Just saying…
Sci-Fi:
Weird Alien: The galactic government has refused to listen to our warning.
Pete: Oh. Alright. You know, space is fucking gigantic. Let’s just go left and then not stop for a long time, and we’ll just live there. I don’t think we’re doing anything here we can’t do way over there. Do they let you wear weird jumpsuits and build pocket doors? Perfect, let’s go.