1. Get an entire galaxy to start making tequila. Then get Galactus to eat a planet filled with the liquor. THEN, when he goes to eat the next planet, he’ll get sick, and then he won’t be able to eat another planet. Just the thought of it will turn his stomach!
2. It’s a little distasteful, but just go with me here. I resisted talking poop until the second point on here, which is a big victory for me. Galactus eats planet A. Then he moves on to planet B. Now, before he consumes planet B, is it possible that he could…pass the remnants of Planet A, which may still be habitable, and the residents of Plant B Move onto the pooped out remains of Planet A? Yes, I do see the distasteful nature of living on a poop planet. But we’re in a species extinction event here, people. Let’s not get choosy in the 4th quarter. And it’s a galactic god poop, so it’s not like living on dog mess or something.
3. Two words: Prison Planet. I mean, if he’s got to eat a planet, why not? Plus, it sets up a great action movie premise. Think Escape From New York except it’s an entire planet, and the clock’s ticking because Galactus is coming. Can Nick Fury get…I don’t know, Ant Man out in time!?
4. Ultimate Nullifier Nullifier. Someone invents a device that nullifies the ultimate nullifier and nothing else. That way, we can offer up to nullify the Ultimate Nullifier, which is the only weapon that seems able to stop Galactus. In exchange, he can go to some other planet.
5. See if Galactus will eat some other jerk planet first. Not that it’ll save us, but at least we’ll die knowing those jerks and their jerkhole died first.
6. Can he not just take a bite out of one planet, another bite out of another? Has this asshole never heard of tapas?
7. Okay, just listen for a sec. The Silver Surfer is his herald. And he likes surfing. So maybe we offer him a cosmic conversion van, PLUS tell him that Earth is the only place that has weed. He’ll take Galactus right on down the road.
8. Let’s build a sweet space motorcycle and hope he wipes out when he hits a moon or something. Remember, when we build this, the sweeter the bike, the dangerouser.
9. They say that people perceive him differently. We all pretend we see him as a giant penis. And then he’ll try to make us see something different, and he’ll keep trying different stuff to make us see something else and then he’ll totally forget to eat our planet.