“Last week I thought certainly that being at a library conference in Las Vegas, I would be the one to embarrass my colleagues. Maybe it would be the time I was informed about swimming in the Bellagio fountain drunk or swimming in the Mirage volcano drunk or swimming in what I thought was a pool but was really just blue carpet. Drunk.
I’m not saying I’m much better than anyone else when it comes to decorum. Let’s just get that out of the way. However, after a really good talk BJ Novak gave at the conference, a few of the questions he was asked by librarians really embarrassed me. Embarrassed the way…you know how it is when you go out to eat with your parents, and your mom says something to the waiter or does something that’s really not that bad, but you just cringe?
Mr. Novak was gracious and handled it really well. He turned what could have been some weird shit into laughs. But honestly, a few of the questions still make me shudder when I think about them, and I have to say, for just a bit, I was pretty embarrassed by my colleagues.
Here we go.
Question: “Will you come visit our library in Montana?”
Listen, shameless. How about you ask your super-specific, you-oriented question during the signing portion. It’s a little unfair to ask in front of the whole group of people here. I mean, what’s a person to say? “No, go fuck yourself”? Have you ever been to one of these allegedly fancy restaurants where the lady walks around selling roses? And she’ll come to your table and ask if you want to buy one for your girlfriend? It’s not like she is subtle about it. It’s more along the lines of, “Hey, you cheap bastard, you don’t think it’s worth $9 for this dumb flower with no container?” And it’s not like they sell flowers in the bathroom so you can make the decision on your own. They ask you right in front of your date. This is essentially what you’re doing, and it’s kind of messed up.
Question: “Will you ask Mindy Kaling to write a picture book too?”
Okay, the dude is here to talk about his book. And he mentioned Mindy Kaling, but COME ON! That’s fucked up. This is a little like calling me and saying, “Hey, will you invite your brother to this awesome party across town? I don’t have his number, but I’d love it if he’d be there.”
Question: “How come celebrities aren’t better advocates for the library?”
This is a bad question for two reasons. Number one, it’s pretty unfair to ask that of one person. What is he supposed to say? That would be like me asking you, “How come all middle-aged ladies don’t like 80’s metal?” All you can answer with is why YOU don’t like 80’s metal. Except it’s even worse because you’re asking him why celebrities aren’t advocates, meanwhile he’s speaking at your convention, gave away hundreds of copies of his book for free, and spent a good couple hours signing for every last person who lined up. So it would be like me asking why you don’t like 80’s metal, except I’m shouting it in your ear to be heard over the nose of the Quiet Riot concert happening in front of us live.
Number two, it’s not so much a question as it is a demand. The question, “Why don’t celebrities advocate for libraries?” in a roomful of librarians is actually the statement “Celebrities should advocate for libraries.”
And let me tell you why I disagree with that.
The celebrities I like, the writers I enjoy, I enjoy the writing they do. If they can visit conferences and do PSA’s or whatever, that’s great, but ultimately I want people who are producing good work to keep producing that good work.
Along those lines, many of the writers I’ve tried to book for visits do very few every year because when they’re doing visits they’re not writing.
I think for those of us with regular jobs, it’s easy to see someone like a writer or an actor as someone who has lots of free time. But I just don’t think that’s true. I think you’ll find that most successful writers probably spend more time working than the average person who puts in 40 hours every week. Not to mention that the vast majority of those people spent decades doing 40 hours of work a week while spending their “down time” writing or acting or painting or whatever.
My point is, if it’s a choice between getting another book from an author I enjoy or getting some kind of library advocacy campaign going, the efficacy of which I question anyway, then I’ll take the content. I will. If people keep writing good books, the library will have plenty to do. If those good books get in the right hands, they’ll inspire more people to create good work as well.
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