“Not one thatâs gonna blow your balls off, but itâs probably hard to do that with a vampire story at this point, right? Still, pretty fun, and it follows the basic rule of setting up a character and then the character does in-character things that contribute to the ending. I know that sounds like a low bar, but Iâve been watching some terrible movies lately, so even basic storytelling is pretty life-affirming at this point.
How COULD you blow someoneâs balls off with a vampire story? Iâm not totally sure. Maybe the vampire would have toâ¦basically be in a Franzen novel but also be a vampire? Show up in the middle of a Nicolas Sparks book unexpectedly? I donât know if thereâs much unexplored territory outside of the idea of doing something mundane but with vampires instead. Vampire Golden Girls?
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