“My New York Marathon”

“It would be pretty cool to come from France and run the NYC Marathon. That seems like a good way to explore the city.

I’ve run exactly one marathon in my life. I’ve done a shitload of 5k’s, 10’s, and a good chunk of half-marathons, but marathon I only did once.

I did it when I was 21 because I was a runner, and I figured that was the next big challenge.

I…didn’t have the euphoric experience others have. My training runs, which topped out at 22 miles (26.2 being marathon distance), left me feeling exhausted but also like I could definitely finish, so I sort of wanted to just run another 4.2 miles, go the distance, and say fuck the race. This is not the ideal attitude to have when you go into a race: Fuck it, let’s get this shit over with.

The Steamboat race might be different now. Back then, it wasn’t the most serene. One lane of the curving mountain road was closed, but the other was open, so you almost constantly had traffic blowing by while you were running. I think the environment would’ve been more interesting or peaceful if there weren’t trucks blasting by, the drivers pissed off because they had to wait their turn on the one-way stretch of road. Not unjustified.

I always sort of wanted to run a very different kind of race, one with more people or more going on instead of the boring show of nature. I know, most people like nature. I like it too, but not for 3 and a half hours at low speed. It gets monotonous, believe me.

I signed up for a marathon in Vegas a couple years ago. It’d be my comeback! But for various reasons relating to life and not training, I didn’t run. I didn’t even go to Vegas. We turned around on the way to the airport, and it ended up being a good decision, that’s how weird life was at the moment.

And since then, I don’t know that I’ve found a running thing I really want to do.

I don’t think going further is the answer. I know ultramarathons (technically anything over 26.2) are more popular these days, but I have my doubts that the runner’s high is just a few miles further down the road.

Maybe the problem is I ran it when I was 21. I was in good shape. I ran A LOT. So I didn’t have that experience you see with a lot of folks: a complete transformation from a non-runner into a runner. Maybe the answer is in donuts, getting as far away from being a runner as possible, and coming back to it.

It’s got to be bad, then better. Not pretty good, then pretty good for a long time.

That night, after the marathon, we went to the clothing optional hot springs. Clothing optional, by the way means that a bunch of old guys who look like beef jerky are naked and everyone else has bathing suits on.

I went for the nude. Because why not? When am I going to have that “opportunity” again.

This old dude (only other naked person in the area) was complaining about the race and how it clogged up traffic, and I pretended I hadn’t run the race because why argue with a naked old man?

Anyway, I managed to cross off three bucket list items that day:
1. Marathon
2. Skinny dipping
3. Confirmation that my testicles will be gross in the future, and acceptance of that fact”