1. Leave work at library.
2. Drive downtown.
3. Suddenly need to shit.
4. As urgency increases drastically, elect to stop at bowling alley.
5. After pulling up pants but while still inside stall, hear someone walk in and say, in a hillbilly accent, “Jeezuz Chrast!”
6. Wait inside stall until hillbilly leaves bathroom.
7. Attend book club.