“Have to say, enjoyed this more than the average comedian’s book.
Jeff Garlin is a funny guy. If you aren’t already sure of that, I recommend checking out his podcast, By the Way…
A couple great episodes:
With Larry David, the funniest thing I can remember: http://www.earwolf.com/episode/larry-david/
With Henry Rollins, who is always interesting:
http://www.earwolf.com/episode/henry-rollins/
With Vince Gilligan, Breaking Bad and Home Fries creator:
http://www.earwolf.com/episode/vince-gilligan/
Jeff Garlin is probably best known for his role on Curb Your Enthusiasm, which even though it’s gotten some recognition, I STILL think is one of the most underrated comedies of all time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GzAmLozd6Y
This book is basically Garlin’s accountability factor, what is supposed to keep him on track in terms of his two goals: Losing weight and Going Green.
Going green is always a tricky topic for me. Mostly because I don’t recycle.
Tell people you don’t recycle and see what they say. You might as well tell them that the reason you don’t recycle is because you prefer to break bottles into stabbing weapons and use them to hurt neighborhood cats and children. Seriously, it’s like you’re the great Satan.
Basically, I don’t recycle because it’s not a service that’s available at my apartment. EVERYONE will say, Save your stuff, take it somewhere.
Nobody who has actually done this will suggest it.
Because I have looked it up. You know when the nearest (3.5 miles away) recycling center is open? “Daylight hours.” What the fuck is that!? What does that even mean? Is this place staffed by reverse vampires who need to be home before sundown? Or children who have a streetlight curfew? How the fuck does that work and who decided it was okay?
Not to mention that I would really struggle with keeping recyclables in my home. Seriously. My place is small. There’s no garage, no pantry, no laundry room. It’s like living in a submarine. People ask me how I avoid buying shit sometimes, and the honest answer is that I’d have to get rid of something else.
It’s not impossible for me to recycle. I’m definitely a believer in the idea that things people really want to do, they do. Most of the times, the way your life shapes up has a lot to do with your real and true priorities. Barring unforeseen accidents and acts of god and all that stuff.
Maybe I’ll try. I don’t know.
What really bugs me about it, though, is that people will give me shit for not recycling. I have a friend who, when he has a beer at my house, will leave the bottles on the counter because he can’t stand throwing them in the trash. He’s that into recycling. Not SO into it that he would take them home to recycle in his own bins, mind you. Just into it enough to give me shit.
Plus, I think I live, overall, a reasonably green lifestyle. A lot of it is coincidental, but nonetheless. Some factors:
-I have ALL of my electronics and other things plugged into power strips, which I turn off if I’m out of the home for a stretch. This means saving a decent amount of power from things most people leave running 24/7 (modems, etc.) and from things that vampire power.
-I walk a lot. To the store, to wherever. I prefer walking if possible.
-Living in an apartment is a green way to go. Building an entire home, and especially heating/cooling an entire home when you don’t need all the space, is a huge waste of resources.
-No pets. It’s a raging debate, but if you think about it logically, think what it takes to feed one dog. Even if the dog food is made purely from animal byproduct, there is still a great deal of energy expended to turn it into pet food, package it, ship it, and so on. Pets are also a common excuse people give for having a big yard of grass that takes a lot of watering. Oh yeah…
-No yard. People are throwing their lives and money away on yards. Seriously. The water, the maintenance. We got big yards, then we had to cut them, so then we invented little cars to drive around on the yard. It’s madness.
-No kids. We’ll get to this more in a second because I’m not necessarily suggesting people avoid having children. But I will say that adding another human is probably the least green thing that a person can do, looking at things objectively.
Now, here’s where Jeff gets in the book, and here’s what I like about his green plan, courtesy of Ed Begley Jr.
It’s reasonable. It’s all about what you can do in terms of comfort. If your pets make you happy, happier than the sense of satisfaction you get from being green, then have your pets! I don’t even recycle, so the last thing I’m going to do is tell someone to get rid of pets. If you love gardening, then you don’t have to give up your yard.
And this is the key to being green, my friends. If everyone does SOME stuff now, tackles the low-hanging fruit, then we won’t be forced into overdrive mode later. Drinking recycled pee and whatnot. Why start by going into the complexities of throwing up solar panels when you’d probably be better off making sure you’re weather stripping was adequate?
Make a list of what you can do, then start with the easy stuff. Because the truth is, you’ll never erase your carbon footprint. But you can reduce it.
With the topic of reduction, let’s talk about Jeff’s other goal in the book: losing weight.
Well, maybe not so much losing weight as getting a handle on eating. Because the man has some issues with food, no doubt. He can routinely eat to the point that he feels physically sick, and he’s recognized that he uses food as a way to regulate emotion, good and bad.
It’s kind of an interesting look at food problems. A bad, bad food problem is such a sticky situation. Because you HAVE to eat to live. It’s not like booze. You do not have to consume alcohol to live. But imagine. Imagine if you were a drunk, totally out of control, yet human life required that you drink 1 oz of liquor three times a day. There’s not such thing as food abstinence. It’s impossible.
I really think a lot of people would benefit from reading about his struggles. He’s on the extreme side, for sure. But what makes it worthwhile for everyone to read is that he comes off as a real person. By the time you’re done reading, it’s hard to think of him as just some fatso. He’s a real guy with some very nice things in his life and goals beyond changing his appearance.
Something to ponder about that, have you ever noticed that most of the famous fitness people are almost devoid of personality? I mean, they have an energy. But look at these assholes who run Biggest Loser. Gillian Micheals? Check out her quote on her love life: “Let’s just say I believe in healthy love. If I fall in love with a woman, that’s awesome. If I fall in love with a man, that’s awesome. As long as you fall in love⦠it’s like organic food. I only eat healthy food, and I only want healthy love!”
Okay, so everything is about getting on track with food and exercise. I’m not saying that the woman has to be an open book. Nobody is required to do that. However, consider A) that she has made a name for herself appearing on a television show that is all about overweight people baring their souls (granted, in a reality TV sort of way) while she herself remains guarded, and B) that this sort of person is very boring. This is like the dude where every analogy is about football. He’s cool, but jesus christ, sometimes you can just make a soup without having to declare it a “touchdown.”
Jeff Garlin is an open book, and he becomes a real person. That makes his problem more interesting as it’s in the context of an actual guy. And a funny one, at that.
At any rate, it’s good read and a quick book. Give it a shot. If you get past the massage table story without laughing, then it’s probably not for you.
“